Perhaps we always think we can handle stress ourselves!
Living in a city like Hong Kong, a lot of us grow up with considerable stress and challenges. We may sometimes feel tired, frustrated, or helpless about things around us. These feelings, cumulatively, may put us down to sporadic episodes of moods. In most cases, we make an effort to pull ourselves together, chins up, and continue to live the life that unfold in front of us the best way possible.
At times, if we look closely, we may be aware we have repeat patterns. We may find ourselves reacting (not responding) often with some kind of emotions that we wished we would have had controlled.
We may find ourselves getting increasingly critical and begin to experience difficulties with smooth relationships. We may find hurdles arise in various areas of our lives. We may get health problems more often then we should.
We seldom take note of any of these bodily messages.
Normally we cannot see their existence. In fact, if we are sensitive enough, we may notice “something seems to be wrong with me, but I cannot identify the issue.” In most scenarios, we neglect these internal conversations until our situations worsen.
When we begin to get emotionally more strained, we tell ourselves everyone have problems, mines are nothing of difference or significance. Or we may confirm the problem is not from within me, it was out there with that person. Sometimes we believe our issues will go away once we get over this or that. We continue to live our lives the way it was yesterday, until both our mental and physical health protest loud enough to break us down.
Perhaps we never knew what Counsellors are for! At least we don’t think they are for us!
In fact, way before anyone breaks down, we can talk to a counsellor. They can help us. But most people don’t think much of a counsellor. Or we have too little idea what a counsellor does. When outside help is being brought up, a fear will perhaps set in, disallowing ourselves to admit that we are fragile, that our lives didn’t seem to work out the way we wanted it, that we wish for someone to understand what it feels inside and help us bring our confidence back!
A Counsellor is a professionally trained therapist who is armed with some tools that can help us get through some emotional stress. This person is professionally neutral, listens to our problems, and tries to unwind the knots hidden between the lines, so we can see more clearly things that we may not see ourselves. Usually the problem we face is not our real problem. The Counsellor is in a capacity to direct us to see what is real for us, and in doing so, finds an exit for our perpetuating frustrations.
Counselling is very common in a lot of western countries. Asians, or Chinese, are less familiar with what counselling is about. With a lack of this knowledge or understanding, fear of acceptance, a stigma may usually be present, hence prohibiting us from approaching this effective help profession. Often, we hesitate on the doorstep, retrieving to trying to handle the problem ourselves instead of getting that readily available and more effective help.
Counselling does not involve giving medication or assessing someone with a pathological label. Counsellors are equipped with basic psychological and developmental education to have a good grasp of where the inefficiencies of a person may lie.
If more people understand, accept, and try out counselling for early help, Hong Kong will be a better/happier place.
Everyone will come across obstacles more than once in a lifetime. Therefore, everyone should have met at least one counsellor during this precious lifetime.
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